Well ya’ll. Something happened. I’m not on the race any more, so I no longer need my World Race blog! However, I am doing CGA (surprise!) so I do need a CGA blog, apparently. They assigned me one anyway, so I assume that means I need one. Next week, I’ll be posting a blog to explain to you what CGA is exactly, and what my next adventure is. This week, I just wanted to tell you about something God showed me recently, and remind you how to play Simon Says, just in case you forgot. Here goes…
Do you remember that game ‘Simon says’? You could only do the silly instructions if Simon said to do them. If you did them and Simon didn’t say, then you were out. You lost. Go sit down in the losers corner with the other kids that didn’t hear what Simon said.
For example: “Simon says pat your head. Simon says jump on one leg. Rub your tummy. Ah! Simon didn’t say! You’re out!”
I HATE[D] this game. There may even be (there definitely is) a seed of bitterness still sewn in my heart from this ridiculous game. Who was Simon anyway? Who in the world did he think he was? What right did he have to say whether I could pat my head or not? Maybe my head itched, Simon didn’t know me like that! Ya know what, who needs Simon and his infinite tummy rubbing wisdom mocking me and telling me what to do anyway. I do what I want!
A little dramatic, I know. I’m praying about the bitterness. Anyway, I’m gonna be using Simon as an analogy for God in this so just bear (bare?) with me. Since Preject Search Light ended in January, I have come home to a whole lot of new opportunities and a whole lot of uncertainty about those opportunities. They are all incredible ministry opportunities that I would love to be a part of. But I am already patting my head and rubbing my tummy and now that these new opportunities have come up I am so afraid that Simon didn’t say and I’m going to ruin everything and lose the game. I am paralyzed, mid-step, trying so hard to listen and catch the right thing, that I’m forgetting anything Simon said altogether.
I was reading in Habakkuk chapter 1 the other day. In my imagination, Habakkuk is looking up at God with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face, asking God what in the world He’s doing? How long do I (Habakkuk) have to ask for help before You deliver God? Do You not see? Do You not hear? I mean Habakkuk really lets God have it. God answers Him and says, oh buddy. Just you wait. Something is coming that you wouldn’t believe even if I told you about it. Of course after that, Habakkuk continues to run his mouth and question God, and finally in chapter 2 God says to him multiple times, “Who do you think you are?” And He goes on to tell Habakkuk about himself. (You should go read Habakkuk. It’s only 3 chapters and still one of the most powerful books in the bible.)
Unfortunately, I am Habakkuk here. I am sitting here saying, “Hello? God? Yoo-hoo! It’s me! What exactly are you doing up there? I need you to answer me, like, 5 days ago! I definitely don’t have time for your lolly gagging because I am on a timeline here, now can you share some of your infinite wisdom with me and just tell me what to do!?”
Oh Mary. You’ve done it again. Who do you think you are? God is the same yesterday, today and forever and He does not run on your time tables. God doesn’t play Simon says with you. He doesn’t treat your life as a game. He loves you and He guides you to make your own choices in life. He doesn’t want to set you up for failure. He doesn’t want you to sit in the losers corner. Mary, who do you think you are?
When I realized I had cast God as the game maker from the Hunger Games in my life, trying to throw up obstacles and confuse me, I knew I had some serious reevaluating to do. God had presented multiple paths to me, that were all good ones! How blessed was I? God wants me to choose. He has goodness and growth and heartache and joy and sadness and sunshine down each and every path He has placed in front of me and He loves me enough to let me choose the direction my journey takes next. How incredible is it that we can choose. How incredible is it that He chose us?
Next week I’ll be writing a blog explaining this new blog address and new fund raising goal and ultimately, the new adventure and path I chose. It’s exciting, so be sure to check it out!
I don’t really ever know how to end a blog. It’s sort of awkward. So…bye.
